(Click on the player at the top to listen to this ten-minute episode)
What follows is the weekly column we email every Friday that is a companion to this weekly podcast. This podcast episode expands on the content of the column.
Knowing When to Push the Pause Button
One of our grandsons recently taught us a helpful mindfulness technique he learned in school called “take five.” You hold one hand up with your fingers stretched out. With the other hand, beginning where your thumb and wrist adjoin, slowly move your index finger up and down each finger, taking a deep breath as you go up and then exhaling as you move downward, eventually tracing each finger. This is what his teacher taught the students to do when they feel stressed. This is also a great way for all of us to help reset ourselves when feeling stressed or overwhelmed.
Knowing when to pause and reset is a core component of emotional, spiritual, physical, and relational wellbeing, and that is why we are focusing on it in this third column in our series on foundational practices for enhancing our overall wellness.
In the quote at the top of the column, Lori Deschene provides a helpful list of when pausing is vital. The list is a good place to start, and it can also help us think of a few other times when we may need to pause in our daily lives.
Pause to listen more before being quick to speak.
Pause before sending emotionally charged emails or other messages.
Pause to examine our own biases.
Pause before speaking unkindly or gossiping about someone.
Pause when feeling impatient.
Pause when feeling stressed.
Pause when becoming overwhelmed.
Pause before being quick to defend yourself.
Pause before posting heated comments on social media.
Pause when you find yourself feeling emotionally flooded.
Pause when you are exhausted.
Pause when you disagree with another.
And, just as important, pause to observe the positive around you, things that pausing allows us to see.
You undoubtedly have specific examples from your life to add to this list. Maybe this would be a good time to, well….pause, and think about what they are.
However we “take five” or “practice the pause,” knowing when to do so will enhance our wellbeing and the wellbeing of those with whom we are connected.
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ABOUT THE CREATORS:
Holly Hughes Stoner, LMFT and Scott Stoner, LMFT, are both licensed marriage and family therapists who are partners in life and in work. They are the Co-Directors and Co-Creators of the Wellness Compass Initiative, a non-profit initiative that crates preventative wellness materials for adults, families, and teens. They live in Madison, Wisconsin and are the parents of three adult children and are blessed with two grandchildren, as well.